I think I'm okay
by Missing Linka
Summary: Another songic. Christina Aguilera I'm okay. It's about Miss Parkers past. Including Jarod and the future ... Please R&R! THX


I think I'm okay 

For so long, she had tried to forget what had happened all those years ago. And she had succeeded. Miss Parker hadn't remembered the tragic events for years.

But then she had started to remember it all …

_Once upon a time there was a girl_

_In her early years she had to learn_

_How to grow up living in a war that she called home_

Never know just where to turn for shelter from the storm 

Her Dad had often yelled at her Mum when he had found out something he hadn't liked. And there had been lots of things that he hadn't liked that much. When her Mum had come home later than he had thought. When her Mum hadn't been at home when he had come home. And when her Mum had arranged a meeting between her daughter and Jarod …

_Hurt me to see the pain across my mother's face_

_Every time my father's fist would put her in her place_

_Hearing all the yelling I would cry up in my room_

Hoping it would be over soon 

She had seen the pain in her mother's eyes and the wish that her daughter shouldn't see those things. So Miss Parker had followed her mother's plea and gone to her room the first time her father had lost total control. Since then, she had only had to hear him raising his voice to know that it was time for her to stay at her room. Trying to concentrate on the music coming loudly from her radio, she had tried to forget her surroundings …

_Bruises fade father, but the pain remains the same_

_And I still remember how you kept me so afraid_

Strength is my mother for all the love she gave 

Her Mum had never said anything against her Dad. She had tried to hide her bruises under layers of make-up and then she had carried on her daily routine like nothing had happened.

She had played with her daughter, had read for her in the evenings, had woken her up in the mornings …

_Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday_

And I'm ok 

And sometimes, Miss Parker had truly believed that everything had just been a nightmare when she had awoken the next morning.

_I often wonder why I carry all this guilt_

_When it's you that helped me put up all these walls I've built_

_Shadows stir at night through a crack in the door_

_The echo of a broken child screaming "please no more"_

Her father often told her that her mother had killed herself because she hadn't been strong enough and that his daughter had to be stronger because she was a real Parker after all.

Maybe that had been the reason why she had become the Ice Queen.

But even the best walls come tumbling down sometimes …

_Daddy, don't you understand the damage you have done_

_To you it's just a memory, but for me it still lives on_

Until she had started to remember it all, she had often wondered where those kind of nightmares had come from. But now, she knew. And she realized that it had been much more than just nightmares. The memory inside herself had never died like her father might have hoped.

_Bruises fade father, but the pain remains the same_

_And I still remember how you kept me so, so afraid_

_Strength is my mother for all the love she gave_

_Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday_

She admired her Mum for all the strength she must have had. Catherine had been so much stronger than Miss Parker's father had told her. She had "sacrificed" herself and not committed suicide. And she had died because she had been so brave to try to bring down the Centre, free all the imprisoned children.

_It's not so easy to forget_

_All the lines you left along her neck_

_When I was thrown against cold stairs_

_And every day I'm afraid to come home_

_In fear of what I might see there_

And one day he had slapped her Mum so much that she had lost her consciousness. Miss Parker had run to her, afraid that her father might have killed her.

But he had hit her, too. And that's when she had started to forget.

And only a few weeks later, he had told her that her mother had committed suicide.

From that moment on, she had never remembered any of the events until lately …

_Bruises fade father but the pain remains the same_

_And I still remember how you kept me so afraid_

_Strength is my mother for all the love she gave_

_Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday_

_And I'm ok_

Now that she was able to remember everything, she could understand a lot more than before.

And she had realised a lot of things she had also not wanted to realise.

When there had been no one else to run to to find a shelter from the storm she had found herself in, Jarod had been there.

He had waited for her in her living room, knowing that he would be needed.

And since that day, she found herself in his arms every time she woke up from horrible nightmares or returned from a day at the Centre.

_I'm ok _

The End 

P.S. There will be no sequel. Please R&R. THX


End file.
